Jun's Story

The following is an unedited testimonial of Jun*, a teenager whom as of April 2006 was serving time in the Baguio City Jail. We met him when we visited the jail to document the Juvenile Justice Program of Child and Family Service Philippines. At the time we were there, Jun was like one of the big brothers of the other young inmates. Like any other youth, they were all active and engaging, shy at first, but then eager to express themselves. Like any other youth, their excitement and energy told of lives on the cusp, ready to begin. Like any other youth, they've made mistakes, some more terribly serious than most. But with proper guidance and social support, these kids can begin anew, armed with more grown-up learnings and realizations some of us may never even acquire.

I grew up with my grandparents as my parents got estranged when I was only 5 yrs old. I was made to live with my grandparents as my mom cared for her family.

In my younger years, I did not bother to ask about my dad. I remember when I was 13, grandfather took me to his work at the construction site where I got exposed to construction works and learned fast. Soon I began to earn my own money through working as an errand boy and doing menial jobs at the construction site. Then I got lonely and realized I missed my dad so much so I asked my grandfather about him, that I wanted to see him and find out how he had been since he left us. I easily found him and I was able to meet his new family. My frustration worsened and I got so disappointed at finding him with his own family and that left a feeling of rejection for me. Mom too has her own family. I now realized I belong to no one—not among them. “Where do I belong now?” This question haunted from then on. I began to rebel and started to drink and take drugs. I purposedly ruined my life. The rejection I felt led me to seek refuge from my friends until I joined a fraternity and embraced the activities of gang-life. My happiness was tremendous! It was overwhelming. I felt I belonged so dearly to friends who treated me as their brother and I enjoyed my life. Hence, I forgot I had mom and dad, I left my grandparents’ home and went along with my “brothers” wherever they took me. Going home became a rare event and only when I needed to change my clothes, which happened twice a month. Grandma oftentimes found me drunk and smoking cigarettes, yet she keeps on reminding me how alcohol, cigarettes and my other activities would ruin my life. I defend her and we quarrel as I rebelled more. This went on and on until I figured in an incident that involved me and two of my closest brothers in the fraternity. This has become my life’s turning point and has spelled this change that now has made me turn to God.

One night as my fraternity brothers and I got drank and we were in public park a rowdy group came looking for trouble. Recognizing them, I recalled that we had an encounter before with them. It is their grudge that brought them to where we were. All hell broke loose! Riot! As we were drunk and taken drugs too, we armed ourselves with deadly weapons. I held a knife in my hand as one of our enemies fell to his death. I can’t be responsible for his life! It happened so fast! Our enemies knew who we were so we ran for safety and cover. Hiding for four (4) days proved futile. I was sleepless for all those four nights as well as with my two “brothers”. We talked about giving in ourselves to the authorities. We did and now we are in jail and fighting this cruel and tediously boring court battle.

We suddenly found ourselves attending Christian services and fellowships while in detention. We listen intently to the preaching and absorb the message through Bible scriptures. There was an invitation about accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior and being reborn, we went to the front and cried our hearts out. Then we realized the wrong we have done, as we have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.

From then on I have felt so light. My heart’s burden has been eased and my sleepless nights were gone. Praising and worshipping God has become my new way of life. Now I have a deeper understanding of what happened to my life and this happy disposition now. The bitterness and my bickering about the rejection I felt over the years has turned to love for my parents, as I have slowly now accepted my status in life. I know what I want now and how I should go about it. God has taught me all these and as I learned more about Him my love for mom and dad brings me this great longing for them and for my new brothers and sisters. I have come to know God better and keep in mind and heart that He died on the cross to save me from my sins. Having known this made me happier ever!

Chapel works and services become my favorite activity in the jail since I have been leading the praise and worship during our services. My life is complete at having learned to do all these for God. It is so ironic that I have come to know God here in jail. I also know who I am now and why I must go on living despite my loneliness for my family. My life is in God’s hands and my desire to change is what keeps me going on. I have this firm resolve and determination to offer all that I am to God and will do all I can for Him because my life is His. He has given me strength to face a new life and I know that He has forgiven me as I have likewise forgiven my dad. All blame is gone and love prevails in me. My prayers include my parents and all my relatives, the persons I have hurt, and I continuously plead to dear God to grant my prayers for my dad so that he too will come to know God and accept Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior like I did. Now, I realized that the real life starts when we committed our lives to Jesus Christ.

*Jun is not his real name.